


It's My Party

by lacemaze



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: 18th Birthdays, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Ego Friends Pop Up, Pining, Unrequited Love, brief mentions of underage drinking, schneeplebro - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22822093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacemaze/pseuds/lacemaze
Summary: Henrik is not ashamed to admit he misses the teen, even if he has not built up the courage to tell Chase that instead of silently nursing a wounded heart. He can acknowledge the only reason he agreed to this celebration was as an excuse to see him, even if he would have rather spent it alone with Chase at one of their favorite meeting spots.***The only gift he needs is Henrik himself, but he doesn’t tell him that. It’s another of those sentiments Chase finds himself thinking about lately with Henrik. In fact, he has a lot of new thoughts and feelings surrounding Henrik, but he always stops himself from saying them out loud.Two very different birthdays for two best friends each with a wish for the other that ends in very different results.
Relationships: Chase Brody/Henrik von Schneeplestein, Sean McLoughlin/Sean McLoughlin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. And I'll Cry If I Want To

**Author's Note:**

> The lovely [BasilOaks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasilOaks) organized a fantastic Tumblr Event: [Schneeplebro Week 2019](https://schneeplebro-week.tumblr.com/post/189091553339/so-schneeplebro-week-is-close-to-being-underway) celebrating this fantastic ship. Thank you for doing so hun! <3 This little story is in response to Day 1: Best of Friends-Pinning and Day 2: Budding Romance-Love Confessions. The originals can be found [here](https://lace-maze.tumblr.com/post/189135920152/schneeplebro-week-day-1-best-of-friends) and [here!](https://lace-maze.tumblr.com/post/189296604622/belated-schneeplebro-week-day-2) I wanted to reupload those parts, but with some better edits and almost 1400 more words. Whoops! XD Also, I'm terribly sorry if you were hoping for a new story or update to another AU. Writing's been a challenge lately, to say the least. Hopefully new stuff will happen soon and you can accept this in the meantime. Thanks for understanding. <3
> 
> Quick reminder that my Marvin uses they/them pronouns. <3
> 
> All the titles (and slight inspiration come to think of it) come from the lyrics of Lesley Gore's song: _It's My Party._

Henrik von Schneeplestein hates his birthday. 

Every year when it comes around Henrik has to fight the urge to lock himself inside his bedroom and stay hidden under the covers. He has learned from a young age the world will not stop being its loathsome self just because it may be his ‘special day’. He is not that lucky, never has been.

On his sixth birthday, his brand-new pet bird soared out of the cage and through an open window. He had not even owned her long enough to give her a name. In the middle of his ninth party at the local pizza playhouse, his parents screamed across the dining hall about wanting a divorce. It had not been the solution to all the fighting he tried wasting a wish on. At his 14th, he got so nervous about going on his first date with a boy he threw up in the backseat of his mom’s minivan. They did not end up working out for various reasons, but that night certainly did not help to leave a good impression. Now it is his 18th birthday party and he is on edge. 

Nothing has gone wrong, _yet._

The only thing keeping it from being as close to a perfect day as possible is the absence of his best friend: Chase Brody. 

With a sigh tugging from his heart, Henrik walks through the house, double-checking each room for a glimpse of that all too familiar gray, skull logoed hat. He does his best to dodge groups of teens playing beer-pong or grinding (their vulgar gyrations are a disgrace to the name of dancing) to the most heinous of music possible. Henrik swears under his breath as he saves another antique from being hurled through the air like a football. He ignores the groans and bellows of ‘killjoy’ flung his way. The whole senior class is here and Henrik is ninety-nine percent positive that only a handful of them know his name. 

Chase’s enticing promise of ‘something special planned for him’ is the only reason Henrik allowed their shared group of friends to throw him this ridiculous house party. It took little more than a glance at Chase’s bright azure eyes and pouty lips to persuade Henrik to do something he did not want to do. But all this could be easily endured if he had Chase by his side. 

Between college applications, Chase’s after school activities (art projects he is working on Henrik thinks), daily study groups for Henrik’s academic clubs, the two best friends have not seen much of each in the last few weeks and it hurts. Henrik is not ashamed to admit he misses the teen, even if he has not built up the courage to tell Chase that instead of silently nursing a wounded heart. He can acknowledge the only reason he agreed to this celebration was as an excuse to see him, even if he would have rather spent it alone with Chase at one of their favorite meeting spots. His friend vowed he would be here, and Chase always kept his promises to him. _Always_.

It may seem silly, but Henrik cannot help the flutter of excitement that swirls in his stomach as he looks for the absent teen. He thinks the curse of rotten-birthdays-past may finally be broken tonight. And it all comes from the hope taken root in his heart ever since he overheard a conversation between Chase and Jackie two weeks ago. He had not meant to eavesdrop; he had recognized his friends’ voices while in the school library and intended to go and say hello. But the murmur of his own name kept him hidden behind the bookshelves.

_“I can’t believe you spent that much,” Jackie says with a low whistle. “Henrik’s gonna flip.”_

_“Probably,” Chase replies with a chuckle. “But I wanted to make a grand gesture. No one can resist that. Right?”_

_“You don’t have to,” Jackie chides. “Besides, it shouldn’t be a problem, you know Henrik can’t say no to you.”_

_Henrik huffs to himself. There is more truth to that statement than he wants to admit. He presses closer to the shelves when his friends carry on their conversation._

_“This is different though. What if he thinks it’s weird-”_

_“Chasey-boy, it’s just a date, not a wedding proposal. Chill the fuck out. He'll totally agree to it.”_

_It feels like all the air leaves Henrik’s lungs. ‘A date’. It echoes in his head, louder and louder as he sinks down to the floor on shaky knees. He gives up listening to his friends, to caught up in the shock._

_Chase wants to ask him out on a date? Him? Henrik?_

_Does this mean Chase knows about the crush Henrik has been harboring for him? The desire and yearning that’s been building over their years of close friendship even as Henrik has tried to hide it from everyone, including himself?_

_Could it be that Chase feels the same way too? Have the soft smiles and lingering gazes he’s been telling himself are nothing more than friendly sentiments actually be genuine? Has he been a fool to miss it this entire time?_

_As Henrik tries to ease his racing heart to prevent him from having a minor crisis between the stacks of encyclopedias and textbooks, one thought remains crystal clear:_

_Chase wants to ask him out on a date._

_The realization hits him with the force of a train. Henrik has to slap a trembling hand over his mouth to keep from making a sound; sure that the cry of joy he wants to let out is a frantic as he feels. He cannot help the wide smile that takes over his face. He has been such a fool to doubt what has been blossoming between them-to doubt Chase._

_The bell rings, breaking through his thoughts. Henrik quietly scrambles to leave the library before his friends can spot and question him. He practically floats to class, euphoria lighting up every atom inside of him. He tries and fails to school his face into resembling the other students’ bored expressions._

_When Chase takes his seat beside him at their lab station minutes later, Henrik cannot resist the urge to smile at him._

_“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Chase asks, poking his cheek._

_Henrik bats his hand away, shaking his head. “Nothing,” he says softly. He leans into the teen’s space. He’s pleased when Chase moves closer too, squinting in mock suspicion. “Can I not just be happy to see you?”_

_The smile that overtakes Chase’s face stays with Henrik all day. Chase’s smile belongs to him just as much as his heart belongs to Chase._

_“Dork,” Chase whispers (lovingly, Henrik thinks)._

Henrik is wrenched from his sappy respite when a pair of arms wrap around his chest from behind, lifting him into the air. It is not an easy feat considering he is one of the tallest in his class. He knows in an instant which idiot friend of his would try such a thing. 

“Happy birthday beanpole!”

“Jackie!” Marvin shouts from somewhere beside him. “Put the poor boy down before you snap him in two!”

When the teen ignores them, Henrik tries to aim a back kick at Jackie’s shin. Jackie just laughs and squeezes tighter, jostling him around as if he were a toy. Henrik groans, letting free a string of curses. 

“ _Tsk tsk,_ what language,” Jackie sing songs. “Is that any way to treat your second favorite best friend?”

Henrik chuckles despite himself. “JJ is my second, you do not even make my top five.”

Marvin’s twinkling laugh rings out and Jackie lets out an indignant gasp, finally releasing him. Henrik only barely manages not to fall onto his ass. Marvin yanks him to their side, already in ‘mom mode’. 

“There there,” Marvin says, brushing their hands over Henrik’s torso to straighten out the wrinkles in his button-up while he pulls his waistcoat back in place. 

“Thank you,” Henrik mutters, letting them fret over his hair next. It is always wiser (and easier) to give in to Marvin’s coddling. 

Together, they each reach out to slap Jackie’s hand away when he tries to sneakily dump confetti onto Henrik’s head. They ignore his exaggerated wails of pain.

“Good as new,” Marvin finally announces with a cheery smile. “What would you do without me?”

Henrik opens his mouth, ready with a scathing reply but Marvin pinches his side before he can say anything. He laughs instead.

“Be nice,” Marvin warns, looping their arms through Henrik’s and Jackie’s to drag them away to another part of the house. “It may be your birthday, but I will kick your ass.”

“You would not,” he retorts back confidently, trying to keep a lookout. Still no sign of Chase anywhere. 

“No,” Marvin answers in a haughty voice, “But I will make you wear the most atrocious birthday hat I just _had_ to buy when I first laid eyes on it.”

Henrik fights back a shudder. Now _there_ is a threat he knows Marvin would see through to its humiliating end. 

“My life would be full of quiet nights in and infinitely fewer headaches,” he says, playfully glaring at his friends. “However, it would all be very dull and not much of a life at all.”

Marvin’s smug grin causes him to smirk. “Damn right, birthday boy.”

“Aww, you love us,” Jackie coos. 

Henrik pretends to scowl. “I tolerate you,” he corrects. 

The sound of his phone vibrating cuts off the friendly teasing. Henrik rushes to free it from his pant pocket, expecting it to be Chase finally returning his calls. His hopefulness proves fruitless when he sees a text from his cousin instead. A frowns and sends a quick word of thanks, checking the log for any missed messages about a certain someone’s whereabouts. Nothing. 

“Hen?”

He feels his friends’ eyes on him so Henrik forces himself to smile and pretend that everything is fine. He can tell from Marvin’s sad grimace that he cannot be doing a very good job. Henrik pinches the bridge of his nose, forcing himself to take deep breaths. He just has to be patient, he reminds himself. Chase will be here, he promised. 

“It is nothing,” he tells the worried duo. “There are just so many things going on,” he says, gesturing to the crowds of teens around them. He glances around and balks when he spies someone using a ceremonial bowl to drink a concoction of mixed drinks. His eyebrow twitches.

Henrik turns back in time to see Marvin and Jackie share a concerned look before Jackie nods and disappears into a wave of incoming students. He does not try to stop him. 

He gives Marvin a wave, intending to go outside and keep a lookout. He would rather sit out on the curb than stay inside surrounded by noise and people he has never managed to get along with. 

“He’s probably running late,” Marvin tells him, touching his forearm to get his attention before he can make his escape. “Last time I spoke to him, he said he had to go pick something up.”

“I do not know who you are referring to, ” Henrik lies, staring down at their shoes. 

Marvin shakes their head. “You may be the smartest guy in class, but sometimes you can be stupidly obvious,” they say, not unkindly. 

He wonders if Marvin is in on the surprise as well. The thought is as reassuring as it is embarrassing. Henrik huffs and wraps his arms around himself. “It is very annoying how you think you know everything.”

“Oh Hen, I _do_ know everything. Try to keep up please.”

He rolls his eyes. “This is the last time I allow you to bully me into a party.”

Marvin clicks their tongue. “No it isn’t,” they tease. “I know your weakness.”

Henrik’s cheeks heat up. “I am leaving and getting a drink. Kindly, leave me to my brooding now.” 

“Don’t you mean ‘Bro-ding’?”

Henrik groans, covering his face. “I hate you,” he mutters. “Anti officially outranks you now.” 

Marvin brings a hand to their chest, the mask of feigned offense. “You’re adorable when you’re blushing. Happy Birthday, grouch,” they remark, putting their hand on Henrik’s shoulder, forcing him to lean down so they can kiss his forehead. 

Henrik sighs, biting back a smile. “Tha-”

“Oh shit,” they interrupt, touching the spot where their lips had pressed. “My lipstick smeared, the fuck? So much for smudge-free. Sorry, darling.”

Henrik scrunches his nose, fingers reaching for the wet tacky residue. 

“Don’t,” Marvin warns, catching his wrist. “You’ll just rub it in and make it worse. Go wash it off, I’ll send the boy your way if I find him first.”

With a reluctant nod of agreement, Henrik changes course for the bathroom. He locks himself in, sagging against the door and releasing a deep breath of relief. The party is muted from inside the small pristine room. He wonders how long he can hide in here before his friends get suspicious. Knowing them, not very long.

Henrik takes off his glasses, blinking and waiting a moment for his eyes to adjust. He wets a hand towel, carefully dabbing at the streak of crimson like he has seen Marvin do countless times. When he is satisfied it is completely gone, he discards the stained cloth into the hamper and rests on the edge of the tub. 

He stares at the phone in his hand, willing it to ring. Henrik does not need his glasses to see his lock screen, he looks at it enough times throughout the day to have mesmerized every detail. 

It’s a picture of Chase and himself in the back of the teen’s truck. Chase is poised over Henrik’s shoulders, temples pressed side by side as he prods his fingers into Henrik’s cheeks to manipulate his lips into a smile. _‘I’m getting that selfie, even if I have to do it myself,’_ Chase had demanded. Henrik wishes the photo would have captured how hard the pair were laughing afterward. 

Without thinking, he hits redial on his phone and addresses the voicemail greeting as if his friend was listening. 

“Chase, it’s me,” he begs softly. “I’m here and you are not. Where…you said you would-where are you?” 

Henrik sniffles. He clenches his free hand into a fist, the nails biting into his palm to forestall the urge to cry. 

“ _Please_ ,” he adds in a desperate whisper. 

He hangs up before Chase can hear his next pathetic whimper, dropping the phone as if he has been burnt. He rubs his eyes so harshly he has to blink rapidly to be able to see again. Henrik returns to the sink, hoping a splash of cold water will get him to calm down. His behavior is that of a fool; this is not the way a von Schneeplestein should conduct oneself, he scolds his reflection. He can hear his father mocking him in his head. It pains him to imagine Chase doing the same over how anxious he is acting over this stupid day. 

Once Henrik’s heart has stopped beating bruises against his chest and his breathing has returned to normal, he puts his glasses on. He checks his reflection for any sign of anything out of the ordinary and returns to the party when he is satisfied the gloomy face staring back at him is the same as it always is. 

A look around the crowded living room of unwanted people is all Henrik needs to see before deciding he wants to grab the closest bottle of alcohol and a good long book. It is just another miserable day, he can spend it upstairs, retreating like the coward he has long resigned to be. 

The shout of his name prevents him from taking his next step. 

“Henrik!” 

The vice around Henrik’s heart tightens and releases in a matter of heartbeats. 

“Chase,” he says like a sigh, closing his eyes. He takes his last steadying breath before turning to greet his friend. “Hello.”

Chase’s face is a blur as the teen rushes forward and throws his arms around him to bring him into a fierce hug. Henrik does not hesitate; his arms encircle Chase’s waist, hands clinging to his jacket like a life preserver. 

“Happy birthday, my favorite giant nerd,” Chase chuckles. 

His laugh coasts against Henrik’s throat and sends goosebumps along his skin. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs, leaning down and tucking his face into Chase's shoulder.

For a moment, Henrik can forget where they are. The music dwindles down, the roar of student chatter fades to a low hum, and nothing else matters when he is there, engulfed in the safety of Chase’s warm and familiar scent. Henrik gulps and it feels like it is the first time he has been able to breathe all day. The hurt from before incomparable to how safe it feels to be in Chase’s embrace.

All too soon, Chase starts to pull away and Henrik reluctantly releases him. It is then that he notices they have an audience. He takes a step back. Chase’s hand lands on his shoulder and Henrik is forced to stay in place. 

“I’m sorry we’re late,” Chase says smiling brightly. His other hand reaches out for the blonde-haired girl waiting behind him. Their fingers lace and Henrik is no longer the focus of Chase’s attention. “Stacy’s cheer practice ran longer than we thought.” 

Stacy titters, puckering her lips for a kiss and Chase is all too willing to oblige. Henrik looks away. He buries his shaking hands into his pockets. Something claws in his throat and it feels like he is going to start choking. What-what is the meaning of this…Is this some sort of cruel joke? Henrik feels like the opposite of laughing.

“Henry, right?” She asks, making him glance up. “Chase mentioned it was your party. Great turnout! Happy birthday,” she adds with a kind smile.

“Yes,” Henrik replies slowly. “Happy birthday to me.”

He watches as she leans into Chase’s side. His hand leaves Henrik’s shoulder to brush a loose curl out of her eyes. The collar of Chase’s jacket flicks down and a streak of red makes itself known. Stacy must use the same brand of lipstick Marvin does. 

When he peers closer, Henrik makes the painful observation of more lip prints decorating his friend’s neck. Scarlet marks staking their claim. How could he have missed that?

Henrik’s next words leave him in a monotone, his body reduced to operate on autopilot. He hopes his voice is loud enough to drown out the sound of blood rushing through his veins. 

“Enjoy the party. Excuse me, I need to find Marvin.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait,” Chase calls, fingers grasping at Henrik’s sleeve. “We just got here,” he laughs. “You can’t leave yet.”

“I must,” Henrik says softly. _Please_ , his fraying heart begs. He cannot be in Chase’s presence right now, not when he is seconds away from losing his composure. Now when his hopes and wishes lay dashed across the floor. “Marvin mentioned something about a hat.”

Chase’s mouth falls into a pout. “Oh.”

Henrik curses himself for not being immune to him still. “Of course, I can spare a moment if you needed something?”

The smile that crosses his friend’s face is akin to poking a bruise instead of the balm it usually is. 

“Cool!” Chase lets go of Stacy to dig through his jacket pocket. He pulls out a slim gray gift box, crushed blue bow on top. “Sorry, it probably got flattened in the truck,” he explains with a snort. 

“Shutup!” Stacy whisper shouts. The couple share teasing glances, hands stroking exposed skin. It is like a train wreck, Henrik cannot look away. 

“Well then,” Henrik says after a prolonged silence. He might be the only one who notices it.

He picks at the ties holding the gift in one piece. When he lifts the lid, Henrik sees tickets to his favorite band. No, not just tickets, but four (why four?) onstage passes. Their show had been instantly sold out months ago to Henrik’s great dismay. Despite himself, a small grin touches his lips. 

“Surprise!” Chase beams with a huge grin. “You, me, Stacy, and whoever else—probably Marvin if they get their way like they usually do—going to see _Saudade_ next month, dude!”

“What?!” Stacy shouts for him, snatching the box of tickets. “Seriously, oh my god. I love them!” 

Henrik drops the ribbon and bow, starring as they drift to the ground. His friends’ words echo in his head: _grand gesture…just a date…Henrik can’t say no to you…_

They were not talking about him, Henrik realizes slowly. It was never about him. Chase just needed an excuse to buy tickets so he could ask Stacy on a date. Not him. Henrik jumped to conclusions due to being stupidly and hopelessly in love with his best friend. Chase wants Stacy. _Not him._ Henrik has been the biggest fool imaginable. 

He hears Chase and Stacy talking excitedly and Henrik has just about reached his breaking point.

“That sounds wonderful,” he interrupts the animated couple, meaning the exact opposite. “I must-”

“Chase!” Another voice calls. “Where the hell have you been? You kept us waiting,” Marvin chides, coming up behind them, hands on their hips and looking ready to dole out a lecture. They hesitate when noticing they are not alone. “Oh, hello.”

“Hi,” Stacy replies, sticking her hand out. “You must be Marvin. Chase has told me so much about you.”

“Sadly I can’t say the same,” Marvin says with a friendly smile, shaking her hand. They loop their arm through Henrik’s once more, pinning him place. “He’s been hiding you from us,” they add with a light chuckle. Henrik can hear the accusation in their voice. 

“I didn’t want you scaring her away,” Chase justifies, pulling Stacy closer to him again. “Couldn’t release you all on her at once. Fuck, Jackie only knows ‘cause he caught us on the bleachers after practice.”

Oh, cheer practice; another after school activity. So that explains Chase's absences lately. Another blindsided lapse on Henrik's part. 

“Jackie knew…” Marvin repeats slowly. 

Henrik makes a strangled noise at that. He can see when it all clicks into place for Marvin. _So much for knowing everything_ , he thinks bitterly. Henrik does not meet Marvin’s eyes when they glance his way. Just focuses on tapping his fingers against the side of his leg. He silently pleads for Marvin to think of an escape plan.

They gasp instead. “Jackie! Oh shit-”

The chant of ‘Happy Birthday to you,’ reaches Henrik’s ears. Jackie suddenly appears out of the corner of his eye, as if summoned by Marvin’s revelation. Their other friends besides him too, carrying a cake between them with lit up candles. Everyone is all together again, it really is a party. Henrik watches it all unfold with a detached pang of sorrow.

Chase loops an arm around his waist like normal, like an afterthought; his free hand still interlocked with Stacy’s. Anti puts a hat on Henrik’s head, snapping several photos with his phone. Henrik blinks from the harsh flash. Jackie smiles a toothy grin, singing louder than the students jumping in halfway through the song with half-assed enthusiasm. 

Marvin clutches onto him so tightly he can feel the bite of their nails against his arm. “I’m sorry,” they whisper. “Henrik, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-” 

Henrik covers their hand with his own. He anchors himself to them to try and keep his head above the swirling waves of heartache.

“Make a wish!” His friends order. 

Henrik spares a glance at Chase.

_...it shouldn’t be a problem,_ rings in his ears. Acceptance-the final nail on the coffin.

Chase was not sure if Henrik would be okay with him bringing a date because of course Henrik would share the tickets with him and their friends. And normally, that would not be a problem, if it was anything except a date. Henrik is unable to deny Chase any bit of happiness if it is in his power to do so. _A pushover,_ Anti once called him. Henrik hated it then and he hates it now. He knows there is no reason he can possibly refuse to go along with Chase’s plan. Any excuse would expose Henrik’s true feelings and he cannot have that. Especially not now when there is irrefutable proof Chase does not feel the same way. Henrik is a pathetic fool and the agony of seeing his best friend and crush locking lips with someone else is like death by a thousand smiling paper cuts.

“Aww,” Jackie hollers. “Look how happy our beanpole is! I’ve never seen him cry like this before. He does have a heart!”

A chorus of laughter rings out. Henrik is grateful at least no one except Marvin suspects his tears are for any other reason. He focuses blurry eyes at the candles dripping wax over his name. A shaky breath later and the flames die.

The students cheer, clamoring for their piece of the cake. Henrik gets swept up with the crowd, plate shoved unceremoniously into his hands. 

“First piece for the birthday boy,” someone shouts.

He barely registers JJ signing to him, asking how he likes the sugary dessert. Henrik glances over his shoulder.

Chase and Stacy have drifted behind, too busy coiling themselves together to notice anyone else. Henrik takes a bite of his cake. He can taste only ash and salt. 

Henrik von Schneeplestein will _always_ hate his birthday. 


	2. I've Got No Reason To Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if it works on mobile, but if you hover over the text in German (only two lines), a little box should hover over it with a Google translation. <3

_7 Months Later_

Chase Brody loves his birthday. 

He looks forward to this day every year.

Who wouldn’t want to be showered in well wishes and gifts? He’s not an attention-whore, but a special day just to celebrate him? The middle of seven children? That does feel good.

His earliest memory of best-birthdays-past is at five years old when his family takes him to an amusement park. He learned he was afraid of heights that same day, but running around and getting pictures with his favorite mascots was a blast. When he turns eight he gets a bike to call his very own. For the first time, he isn’t forced to share with his siblings, but he still does because it’s his job to teach the others how to do cool tricks. At 13, he gets a surprise party from all his friends. He got to spend seven minutes in heaven with Janet McKenna, easily the prettiest girl in junior high (and she even had a pool). Now it’s the big one-eight, he’s officially an adult and the world is free for him to wreak havoc on. 

But so far it’s been: _kind of a huge letdown…_

It started out alright, his mom brought him breakfast in bed and his dad doubles and slips him his allowance early. But none of his friends are in class today and it’s just not the same without them by his side. 

Chase dumps his school books into his locker and slams the door shut. He leans against the cool metal, nodding his head in greeting to the other students that call out to him. He plasters on a smile to those who bother to stop and wish him a happy birthday. When he spies the cheerleading team out of the corner of his eye, he knows he needs to leave the hallway before it’s too late. Confrontation is not his strong suit and if he can avoid an awkward run-in with his ex that might just be the best thing yet today.

He heads to his next class and sees they have a substitute. Chase takes the lucky opportunity to turn back around and head for the outdoor eating area instead. He’s a senior, most of his classes today are ones he picked for the sole reason of hanging out with his friends. If they aren’t gonna be there, why should he bother to stay? If the school calls his parents for being absent, he can just blame the sub messing up on roll call. 

Chase reaches his favorite spot in the yard without getting caught sneaking out. He’s only done this once (totally not several dozen times) before. He throws himself down behind a tree, away from the view of any wayward classmates and teachers. It’s nice and quiet, the total opposite to the rowdy and lively way it normally is when he’s here with the others. 

A fresh wave of hurt comes over him at having to spend the day alone. He doesn’t blame his friends, they all had legit reasons for being gone: Marvin (and by extension that meant Jackie too because of course he had to be there to take care of his partner) is at home sick with the flu, Anti has a court appearance, JJ is visiting a college he applied to, and Henrik is on a field trip with a handful of other honor students for a math competition. None of their plans could be helped or changed Chase knows, but it still sucks ass. 

He pulls out his phone to reread the messages he got this morning from friends and family. Henrik’s makes him smile the widest. Chase can practically hear the teen’s teasing tone across the text:

_Happy Birthday, Chase. Welcome to adulthood. You are legally responsible for your own buffoonery now. Please aim to make no less than ONE wise decision a day. There are only so many times I will be able to post bail for you. If we do not arrive back too late, I can come over tonight or tomorrow and bring you your gift, whichever you would prefer._

Chase already replied to him, saying Henrik isn’t getting out of seeing him later tonight, no matter what time he ends up coming home. The only gift he needs is Henrik himself, but he doesn’t tell him that. It’s another of those sentiments Chase finds himself thinking about lately with Henrik. In fact, he has a lot of new thoughts and feelings surrounding Henrik, but he always stops himself from saying them out loud. Their meanings blur the lines for what’s acceptable between best friends and _something else_. The place where comforting hugs, lingering touches, and breathless laughs happen so naturally, they feel right.

He lets out a low groan, thumping his head lightly against the tree. That _something else_ absolutely terrifies Chase when he thinks about pushing past the boundaries of their friendship and into something more. He can’t risk losing one of the most important people in his life. Especially when he has no idea if Henrik feels the same. It’s all such a mess and he’s so confused. The one person he would trust to talk about this sort of thing is Henrik himself, the very source of his conflicted thoughts so Chase is left to try and figure things out on his own. 

There’s no way he can ask their other friends. He’s pretty sure JJ and Jackie would be wholeheartedly encouraging if not annoyingly enthusiastic. Anti would just straight up laugh at him. The only one Chase could expect any reasonable advice from is Marvin. He, Marvin, and Henrik have known each other and been friends the longest out of the group, practically since they were kids. Objectively, they would be second to Chase himself who might know Henrik’s feelings. He knows Marvin wouldn’t bullshit him just to be nice. But he’s afraid to get his hopes up, so he doesn’t. 

Chase shakes his head, trying to take a steady breath to calm his racing heart. His fingers twitch and he finds himself reaching in his backpack for his well-worn sketchbook and pencils. The front cover is layered with stickers he’s collected throughout the year (and swiped from friends). He flips through the book, looking for any unfinished pages. It’s almost filled entirely, but he manages to find some free space between a flower tattoo he’s been designing and a little illustration of one of the stray cats Marvin feeds by their house. 

At first, he just stares at the blank page, unsure of what he wants to draw. He knows his art teacher wants him to practice perspective, but he’s not in the mood for that. Chase sighs and digs through his bag again, searching for his headphones so he can listen to music while he daydreams of possibilities. He thumbs through his music library, trying to locate a playlist Jackie sent him a while back. His friend had a knack for creating moods he can immerse himself in and that’s really what he needs right now. He hits play once he’s found it (it’s labeled: _Spiel_ ) and closes his eyes to relax, trying to clear his mind. 

The first songs are very much Chase’s style: pop rock and alternative beats, soulful lyrics about trying to find oneself in a muddled world of false intentions. He begins marking the page with geometric shapes, busy work to get his pencil moving. Gradually, the tone of the next songs shift into more raspy rhythms, the musicians’ voices turning softer and mournful. Their words beg the world to send them someone who can love them, someone they can make happy. 

Chase hesitates for a moment, and then he slowly begins making surer, better-defined lines. He tries not to think about what he’s drawing, hand working on muscle memory. Just lets the music guide him as he sketches out a face. There are a couple of lyrics he recognizes, but he doesn’t stop to think about them too hard, doesn’t want to lose momentum. Hours stream by with each stroke of his pencil. The school day a haze around him. The longing in his heart and a piercing gaze aimed his way are his sole company. 

Without their color, Chase can pretend the eyes belong to a complete stranger. If when he’s done and he traces the pair of lips with a wistful sigh, no one else is around to notice.

***

The surprised, slow smile that grows on Henrik’s face when he sees Chase waiting for him is more beautiful than Chase can ever put on paper, he thinks in a bittersweet, longing way. He can never seem to capture the dimple that shows up in Henrik’s right cheek, the one that makes him look so innocent and charming, even when he starts laughing along to Chase’s dirty jokes. Nor can he ever quite find the right shade of color that comes close to matching Henrik’s gorgeous gray-blue eyes. Nothing beats the real thing. And by gods does he want the real thing… 

“Chase,” Henrik calls, walking to meet him where Chase has been waiting by the school gate, standing against his pickup truck. “What are you doing here?”

“You owe me a birthday hug,” Chase smirks. “Figured if I come to you myself I’d get it sooner rather than later.”

Henrik rolls his eyes but holds his arms out for Chase to walk into. Chase does so happily, practically throwing himself into his friend’s chest. Henrik huffs, grumbling about Chase’s thick skull. He pokes his stomach in retaliation, getting his friend to chuckle. Chase smiles wilder, unable to resist running his fingers across Henrik’s other ticklish spots. Henrik tries and fails to hold back his laughter and Chase joins along. He might be addicted to that sound.

When Henrik acts like he’s going to let go, Chase panics. Without thinking, he raises on his toes to nuzzle his face into Henrik’s neck, clutching the back of his blazer and tucking himself as close as possible against the teen’s lanky form. Chase bites his lip, expecting Henrik to push him away. 

But then, Chase feels Henrik rest his cheek against his head, one hand brushing the back of his hair soothingly and his other arm tight around his waist, helping Chase stay upright. 

“Oh Chase,” Henrik whispers. "Happy birthday mein Freund."

Chase sighs and he feels the pressure releasing from his chest, taking in a lungful of Henrik’s refreshing and intoxicating scent. All the hurt and loneliness from the day just melts away. Chase loves his friends and family more than anything, but having Henrik all to himself makes it a better birthday already. His heart beats harder, unhelpfully; Henrik makes a lot of things better. 

This time, Chase steps back first, reluctantly releasing his hostage and looking down at the ground sheepishly. Henrik’s gentle hand against the side of his cheek tilts his face up. Their eyes lock on one another and he can’t help being drawn to Henrik’s lips. For one paralyzing long moment, Chase forgets how to breathe. 

Henrik thumbs beneath his eye, sweeping away hints of tears Chase hadn’t realized had formed. 

“I know your birthday is important to you,“ Henrik tells him. "I am very sorry I was not here to spend it with you.” 

Oh. 

Chase hopes his friend can’t feel how warm his cheek is getting beneath his palm. 

“You’re here now,” he mutters, stepping back.

The taste of disappointment is sharp on Chase’s tongue. He glances around for a distraction, finally noticing the medal hanging around Henrik’s neck and a small prize in his hand.

“And you brought home a trophy,” Chase cheers with a genuine smile. “Fuck yeah, man, congrats! I knew you’d win.” Henrik blushes a pretty shade of pink. “This calls for a celebration.” 

“No, wait, it is your birthday-” Henrik tries to argue. 

“So I get to decide how we’ll celebrate,” Chase declares, sticking his tongue out. 

Henrik lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Very well.”

Chase snickers in victory and goes to take Henrik’s bookbag like usual, but his friend holds on to the strap to stop him. He raises a brow in question, but Henrik hands him the trophy instead. Chase glares playfully as he opens the passenger door, bowing and gesturing dramatically for Henrik to get in. Henrik laughs and Chase feels warm again.

Once they’re both inside, he gives Henrik back the award for safekeeping and starts up the truck, switching on the heater for the always-too-cold teen’s side. Henrik brings his hands up to the small vents for warmth and Chase has to stop himself from reaching out to hold them between his own. 

“I do not think there will be much open this late,” Henrik says, breaking the sudden quiet. 

Chase checks his cellphone for the time, it’s just after 8 o’clock. Their usual hangouts are probably already full. He scrambles to think of an idea, not wanting the night to end now that he finally has Henrik’s company. An idea pops in his head when he spies the blankets tied down in the back of the truck bed.

“Let’s go to the drive-in,” Chase suggests innocently. “The new _Wendigo_ sequel is out, I know you’ve been dying to see that.”

He snickers when Henrik groans, just like he knew he would. 

“What brilliant strategist releases horror movies in April?” the teen whines. 

Scary movies have long been a friendly matter of contention between them. Chase loves them, enjoys getting freaked out and how corny they can be. Henrik hates them for their ludicrous plot holes and cheap scare tactics. Yet every October finds the pair having near-daily movie nights in. They’re totally Henrik’s guilty pleasure, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. 

“You love them, shut up,” Chase counters, still laughing, even as his heart gives off a funny twinge. _Can you love me too?_ He wants to ask.

“It is bad enough autumn is chock-full of that nonsense. Why...”

Chase starts driving them towards the outdoor movie theater, letting his friend’s complaints carry them along to their destination. It’s hard not to chuckle at how heated Henrik gets when debunking Chase’s fake serious accounts of supernatural phenomena in their town. He likes getting his friend riled up, probably more than is acceptable for ‘just friends’. 

Chase’s heart is as pained as it is joyous. 

***

It doesn’t take long for the duo to reach their destination. They get into an actual argument when paying for the tickets to get in. Henrik practically lays across Chase’s lap to try and give the booth attendant his cash. Chase is torn between pushing him away or pulling him closer. 

“Do you really think I will allow you to pay,” Henrik insists, reaching out to the confused worker. “Today of all days?”

Chase is proud of himself when his hands land on Henrik’s back instead of his ass which is _right there_. He drags the teen away from the window. 

“Unless it’s a date you have no right to pay. Now come on, I invited you out so sit back and-”

His brain finally catches up to his stupid mouth. Chase’s eyes bulge and he wants to sink between the faux-leather seats, needs the earth to swallow him up. 

Did he really say that? _Really?!_

Henrik’s reaction is worse. Chase has never seen the teen move away from him so fast. Henrik presses himself against the passenger door, putting as much space between them as possible. For one heartbreaking moment, Chase thinks Henrik is gonna bolt out of the truck. 

Is the idea of a date with him so repulsive to Henrik? 

Chase groans, shoving down the hurt and trying not to jump to conclusions. (It isn’t working out very well.)

“Here,” he croaks to the attendant, handing them his money.

They take it, sparing him a pitying glance before exchanging the cash for tickets. “Enjoy your night,” they mutter unhelpfully. 

Chase thanks them quietly and drives off towards the lot. He reverses into the perfect parking spot to get the best view of the screen while being situated away from the gathering crowds. The keys weigh heavily in his hand after shutting off the engine. He turns to mirror the other’s tense form. 

Henrik still doesn’t say anything. Chase raps his knuckles against the steering wheel, beating embarrassment and agony down into a dull, familiar ache. Henrik’s gaze flickers to his, captivating eyes searching his features. Chase brushes a hand across his mouth as if it was that easy to take back his words. He can’t let his slip-up ruin their night. 

So, after another pulse of uncomfortable silence, he pipes up with a neutral offer: “Snacks?”

Henrik watches him worry his lip further before finally nodding. “I can buy everything we will need if you would like to set up the back?”

“Deal,” Chase agrees quickly. He clears his throat, failing to not seem too eager. “Meet you back here in a few.” 

He’s relieved when Henrik’s smile returns. Chase watches his friend walk away before he jumps out of the truck. For once, he’s glad his laziness for unpacking is working in his favor. 

Last month (okay, so maybe he _does_ procrastinate too much) he and his friends loaded Chase’s trunk with coolers and old bedding for their school’s annual senior beach holiday. They spent a whole lazy day playing in the water, soaking in the sun and eating way too many toasted marshmallows. The ice chests are long gone since they belong to Jackie, but all the blankets and pillows are still stowed inside the truck’s trunk. Chase shakes them out the best he can, trying to get rid of any traces of sand, laying them out to make a comfortable bed-but-not-really-a-bed ( _Chase don’t think about your best friend that way_ he scolds to himself) for him and Henrik to share. 

A struggling Henrik soon returns with arms full of candy, popcorn, and two large coke cups. Chase shuffles on his knees to the end of the truck bed as Henrik dumps all the goodies. 

“You remembered the licorice wands,” he cries out triumphantly, tearing into the package. 

“Of course, what kind of monster do you take me for,” Henrik replies with faux seriousness, passing Chase his soda. 

They each take a stick of the hollow candy, biting both ends before sticking them through their cup lids, making them into edible and sweet replacements for straws. A shared quirk since childhood. They exchange satisfied grins and everything feels normal again. Just two best friends enjoying a movie and each other’s company. Comfortable, fun, and good. Definitely not a date, definitely not something more, no matter how much Chase wishes it was otherwise.

Trailers start playing and that means the movie is supposed to start soon. Chase reaches out a hand to help pull Henrik up unto the truck bed with him. They sit upright, spreading the treats between them, a wide array of colorful candy and extra buttery popcorn. A delicious haul. Chase raises his soda out to Henrik. 

“To the best 18th birthday with the best company,” he announces with a grin. “We’re both winners tonight,” he jokes, reaching out to tap Henrik’s gold medal. Chase slides his fingers over the pocket square laying over Henrik’s heart, unable to resist giving it a gentle tug.

A weird expression comes over Henrik’s features but it’s gone just as fast as it appears. He brushes Chase’s hand away to tuck the award inside his shirt. Henrik clears his throat and offers a smile back (no dimple this time). He taps the rim of his cup with Chase’s to complete the toast. “To you, my friend.”

Before he can ask, Henrik turns to face the screen, critiquing a preview. Chase sighs, tabling the concern for later. He’s sure it’s nothing. Henrik’s a little funny sometimes with receiving attention. The teen is competitive as fuck when it comes to academics so he’s confident when a teacher calls him out for the right answer or proudly accepting their acclaim. But when it’s just the two of them, Henrik will let down his guard and push away the praise. Chase is as used to it as he’s sure Henrik is used to Chase falling into darker moods after wearing a fake smile to get through rough days. Sometimes it’s only Henrik’s hugs that keep Chase from falling apart in those times. When it’s just them together, they don’t have to pretend to be their best, they can just be themselves. Chase loves that about their friendship. He loves—

A loud screech cuts off his train of thought and he flinches at the first sighting of the movie monster. He props himself against Henrik’s shoulder like usual, occasionally jabbing at the teen’s side to try and get him to jump while they watch the film. His useless efforts are rewarded with Henrik’s suppressed chuckles when Chase practically screams as the Wendigo pops up unexpectedly. 

“Shut up you ass,” he mutters, slouching down further.

Henrik reaches out to push him away for the name-calling, but Chase hooks a leg over his thigh, keeping himself pressed close.

“You’re bigger,” Chase claims, grateful to use Henrik’s unfair height against him. “You have to protect me.”

A loud scoff reaches his ears. He chooses to ignore it. 

Eventually, at about the fifth time Chase jerks back hard enough to toss popcorn in their faces, Henrik takes away his snacks. Chase uses the opportunity to latch onto the other’s arm. 

Henrik tries to pull away, laughing at a sputtering Chase. “You wanted to watch the scary movie,” he taunts. 

“It’s my birthday, hold me damnit!” 

Chase pretends he didn’t shout that out as loud as he did. 

Henrik’s stunned silence allows him the chance to maneuver his way between Henrik’s legs to lay back against the teen’s chest. Chase is mentally kicking himself for acting like a fool, but it stops when Henrik’s hands slide around his waist to hold him more securely. 

Okay, so he’s an idiot and acting clingier than even by his standards, Chase will admit. But he’s also an idiot wrapped up in Henrik’s arms and that outweighs everything else. Especially when Henrik tightens his grip as they both flinch at a jumpscare. Goosebumps break out along Chase’s arms at the feel of Henrik’s hands gazing bare skin beneath his rucked up shirt. He brushes his foot against Henrik’s ankle. Chase could get used to this. 

Except…

Near the end of the movie, Henrik starts to fidget. Chase feels the teen’s fingers tapping out a steady pattern: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5…over and over again. (He doesn’t know if Henrik even realizes he’s doing it on Chase’s thigh instead of his own.) It’s a nervous habit he’s witnessed his friend do plenty of times; it means Henrik is thinking too hard about something. 

Chase tilts his head back, staring at Henrik upside down. “You ok?”

Henrik hums, fingers coming to a stumbling halt. “I, um, have to use the bathroom. Would you excuse me?”

“Oh, sure,” Chase replies, not really convinced but letting it slide. 

He riots at the loss of Henrik’s comforting presence as he sits up, giving his friend room to scoot away. Henrik barely spares him a glance as he scurries off. Chase takes a drink of his soda but it tastes sour now. 

He’ll wait to see what Henrik does when he comes back before he lets the guilt eat him up inside. Either Henrik will take Chase back into his arms or sit away, putting space between them once more. If this is his friend’s polite way of saying he’s done indulging Chase, he won’t hold it against him. Afterall, Henrik has no idea how Chase feels about him. It’s not fair to the other to keep throwing himself at him like he has been tonight. 

Chase chews on his lip, tempted to bang his head against the side of the truck. Maybe it would knock some sense into him. Or knock him out completely so he won’t have to deal with the fallout of tonight. Either option would be great. He mutters to himself as he waits for his friend to come back. ‘Hopeless pathetic fool’ his new mantra. 

A snap of a twig catches his attention and he peeks up. Henrik is back already. And his arms are tucked behind his back. Chase stills, almost certain Henrik can hear his heart playing the drums inside his chest.

“Whatcha got there buddy?”

“It seems a crime not to celebrate your birthday properly,” Henrik says, meeting Chase at the ledge of the truck bed. He brings his arms forward, revealing a small basket of french fries. “Unfortunately, they did not have anything pastry related. However,” Henrik dips a fry in ketchup and holds it up between them. “It could pass for a candle, yes?”

Chase only just resists the urge to pinch himself. But when he closes and opens his eyes again, Henrik is still there. “Yes,” he whispers. “It’s perfect.”

“Almost,” Henrik replies, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He hands Chase the food to duck back into the passenger seat. 

Chase watches through the rear window as Henrik digs through his school bag. His jaw drops when he sees him pull out a wrapped gift. So that’s why Henrik wouldn’t let him hold his bag. He didn’t want Chase accidentally finding the present. 

“Did you carry that with you all day?” Chase asks, once Henrik is back in the truck bed. 

Henrik offers a small smile. "I was hoping you would want it tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow so I carried it with me all day,” he explains, kneeling down to sit cross-legged in front of Chase. 

Chase doesn’t mind the change and mirrors the teen’s form, letting their knees touch. "You’re such a dork, you know that?” he states matter-of-factly.

Henrik hums, holding the gift to his chest. "It sounds like you do not want the present. Perhaps I will keep-”

“Okay okay,” Chase amends with a chuckle. “I’m sorry. Yes, I would like the very pretty and very big gift. Please.”

Henrik smirks as he trades with him for the fries. “Much better.”

“Thank you,” he sing-songs. And then he fakes a cough and adds a loud: “ _Dork!_ ”

Chase is sure he can hear his name amongst the German curses Henrik grumbles under his breath. He grins wide, ready to tear into the gift. Henrik lays a hand over his to stop him, saying Chase can’t open it yet. 

“You have to make a wish,” Henrik instructs. 

Chase laughs. “I already got everything I want,” he admits, glancing up at his friend through his eyelashes. It might not be the whole truth, but it’s as close as he can have. 

Henrik quirks a brow and Chase shrugs. 

“What did you wish for on your birthday,” he asks Henrik instead. 

His friend looks away, stalling for time by rescuing a fry hanging off the side of the tray. Chase covers Henrik’s hand with his own. He frowns when the teen snatches it back. 

“Henrik?”

He looks up to meet Chase’s eyes. “The same thing I ask for every year, something I do not believe I can ever have,” Henrik quietly answers. 

Chase can only sit there, stunned and unsure of what to say. Unsure what Henrik means. 

Henrik doesn’t try to explain, just shakes his head, glancing away to pick at a stray thread at the knee of Chase’s jeans. He wants to ask what could Henrik possibly want that he thinks he can’t have, and what can Chase do to make sure it finally happens? 

“Make your wish with me,” Chase finds himself saying. He dips his head, getting Henrik’s attention again. “I’ll share my birthday magic with you, that way it has to come true.”

Henrik makes a strange noise; it sounds like a cross between a laugh and a whimper. 

“Come on,” Chase urges gently. He reaches out to tilt Henrik’s chin up. “It’ll work, I promise.”

They stare at each other for several long moments. The soft exhale of Henrik’s sigh ghosts over Chase’s hand. He holds his breath. 

“You will not let this go, will you?” 

Chase grins, shaking Henrik's chin side-to-side. “Nah, not my style.”

Henrik rolls his eyes, pushing Chase’s hand away to grab a fry. Chase does so as well. They dip them in ketchup, holding their fry out for the other. 

“On three,” Chase says with what he hopes is an encouraging grin. Henrik gives him a hesitant one in return. “One…”

“...Two…”

“Three.”

Chase bites and pulls the fry out of Henrik’s hand, while Henrik does the same for the one in Chase’s hand. He shuts his eyes tight, thoughts only of hoping Henrik’s wish will come true and that he’ll get to be a part of it somehow. He opens them, seeing the dimple has returned to Henrik’s smile. It’s the best wish he could have asked for. 

They share a few more fries until Henrik nudges the gift still waiting in Chase’s lap. “Open,” he commands softly. “Maybe you will get what you wanted.”

“Present time is favorite time,” Chase declares, ripping away blue and yellow paper and throwing it back in Henrik’s direction. 

He snorts when Henrik huffs at him. He quickly opens the box to two metal cases tied down to a brand new sketchbook. Chase goes for the tins first, finding a vast collection of oil pastels in one, and a new set of graphite pencils in the other. He gasps, gently touching the beautiful colors. They’re even prettier up close, memory doing them injustice from the last time he laid eyes on them through the store display he showed Henrik months ago. He gulps guilty, knowing how stupidly expensive they are. 

“I can’t-” Chase sputters, shoving them back at Henrik with trembling hands. He doesn’t deserve stuff this nice. “I can’t-it’s too much.” Henrik’s kindness the whole night is suddenly all too much and it _hurts_. 

Henrik places the tins aside, directing Chase’s hand to open the sketchbook. A note in a familiar elegant script waits for Chase to read. 

_Happy Birthday Chase,_

_May this book be a stepping stone on your path to becoming the best artist you can be. Your art is as beautiful as your soul and I know you will go so far. Never stop drawing and never stop going after what you want. But most importantly, never doubt yourself, for I will always believe in you. Von Herzen alles Gute zum 18th Geburtstag._

_Love,  
_ _Henrik_

Chase rereads the message, feeling the sweet words tieing themselves around his heart. Rapid blinking does nothing to help his watering eyes. He reaches out for the closest part of Henrik he can reach, fingers locking tight over the hand holding the book open.

Before Chase can tackle Henrik into a hug because speaking is suddenly _way_ too hard now, the movie erupts with a screamo end credits song. They both shrink back, caught off guard by the sudden intrusion of the world around them. It’s too easy to get lost in the moment with each other when it’s just them together. 

“Glad that ridiculousness is over,” Henrik mutters darkly, causing Chase to snort. 

“You fucking, sentimental ass,” he calls out without any real venom. Chase puts his gifts down safely to the side, throwing his arms around Henrik’s neck in a crushing embrace. “It’s like you want me to cry,” he says with a watery giggle. That gets his friend to laugh as he wraps him up into a comforting hug. 

Henrik only pulls back when he hears Chase sniffling. He cups his cheeks, brushing away fresh tears. “Only if the tears are for a good reason,” he teases lightly. 

More tears spill. “Of course-” Chase stops himself. He bites his lip, trying to think. One glance at Henrik is all the answer he needs. 

“You,” Chase blurts out. The heaviness in his heart threatens to drown him if he remains quiet. “You’re my good reason.”

“Chase?” 

Henrik sounds so confused and concerned but Chase can only shake his head, breathing raggedly. He cups the sides of Henrik’s face and brings him close for a fierce kiss. It may be the only one he’ll ever have and he has to make it count. 

Henrik’s reaction is instantaneous-

_He shoves Chase away._

Chase falls back, lips burning. He can only watch as Henrik scrambles to get up, ready to take off and leave Chase’s life, probably for forever. Chase has to force down the new wave of tears. He grabs Henrik’s wrist, begging him not to go. His best friend just stares at him. Disbelief and hurt clear over his features. Gray-blue eyes the saddest he’s ever seen. Chase swallows. He did that. He’s fucking everything up. 

With a weak voice, Chase asks him to stay, to hear him out. Henrik pushes against the hand still clinging to his wrist, body shaking like a leaf. Chase smooths a thumb over the delicate skin there. “ _Please._ ”

A pause. 

Finally, Henrik relents. Allows Chase to pull him back down to sit on his knees so they can face each other. 

Chase waits until his friend will meet his eyes. It flickers, but he takes that as a sign of hope. 

“I think I’m in love with you,” he tells Henrik. “No! I _know_ I'm in love with you.”

He leans forward once more, touching his forehead to Henrik’s. Henrik grips his shoulders in an almost painful grasp. Their noses press together and shaky breaths coat their lips. (Is he holding him close or getting ready to push him away?) 

“I love you,” he repeats slowly. Each word infused with as much conviction as possible. 

“You don’t mean that,” Henrik rebuffs immediately. “You can’t-" 

Henrik’s chest heaves and Chase is scared he might be pushing the other into having a panic attack or something. But he can’t stop. Henrik has to understand. 

“I do,” Chase swears, nodding against Henrik’s forehead. He closes his eyes and tries to be gentle as he pours his heart out to reassure his best friend. 

“I love you when you smile that beautiful shy smile, especially when you laugh at something I said. I love you when you’re standing there with your too-long limbs and scowling at me, even though it’s cute ‘cause you can’t stay mad at me for long. I love you when you’re being so smart that you teach me words like besotted and enamored because that’s just a small fraction of how I’ve felt about you all this year, maybe even longer. I love you when you hold me in your arms and tell me everything will be alright because even when I don’t believe in myself, I believe in your faith in me.”

Chase stops to take a deep breath. It’s then that he realizes Henrik is crying too. He opens his eyes to see Henrik fighting a smile; that lovely little dimple appearing on his cheek. Chase smiles back. He’s lost count how many times he’s said it, but he wants to say it a million more.

“I need you to believe me when I say this Henrik: I love you.”

This time, Henrik leans towards Chase for a tender kiss. 

“I love you too, Chase,” Henrik whispers against his trembling lips. His hands raise to his neck, tracing his jawline. Henrik punctuates each next word with a lingering kiss. “I…” Chase’s hands fall to the back of his jacket, bringing him impossibly closer. “...love…” Henrik’s eyes are alight with happiness. “...you.”

Chase’s heart soars with relief. He lets out a choked up laugh, tilting his chin up so their lips can meet again. It’s a wet, salty and sweet kiss; a mixture of tears and all the treats they devoured during their movie night. It’s the best kiss Chase has ever had. 

He falls back into the bed of pillows and blankets, bringing Henrik on top of him and tangling together in a loving embrace. Both unable to stop kissing, even as they end up with more smiles and laughter smothered between their lips. 

As their heart rates return to normal, they lay face-to-face, each in their own state of happy disbelief. Unsurprisingly, it’s Chase that breaks the silence first. 

“This turned out better than any birthday wish possible,” he mutters, feeling pretty confident with that statement. He brings his hands up to trace Henrik’s lips when he opens his mouth to speak. 

“Oh Chase,” Henrik murmurs softly. He pauses to kiss the tips of Chase’s fingers. “You have been my most desired wish for so…” he trails off. 

“Really,” Chase questions, brushing his nose against Henrik’s. He swoons at the way Henrik holds him tighter. Like he never wants to let go. Chase can live with that. “How long?” 

Henrik blushes and it’s his turn to tuck his face into Chase’s neck. He peppers kisses to any exposed skin his lips can reach. Chase squirms at the delightful ticklish sensation. 

“How…” Chase’s thoughts break off when Henrik bites down against his collarbone. “Henrik,” he sighs, sweeping a gentle hand through the other’s hair. Chase allows another kiss (and another, and another) before he pulls back, licking his lips and silently waiting for an answer. 

Henrik fidgets with his glasses. (One more kiss for encouragement because he can.)

A heavy sigh, and then Henrik finally speaks. “For so long I thought it a fool's wish.” 

The echo of Henrik's words hang over them: _Something I do not believe I can ever have._

Henrik loves him, _has been_ in love with him for a while Chase realizes. He’s been trying to figure out his own feelings for so long Chase has been oblivious to Henrik’s own struggles. How could Chase have been so blind? He clings to a fistful of Henrik’s collar, suddenly afraid of letting go. It hurts thinking about all the unnecessary heartache they've had to endure thanks to his stupidity. Henrik’s next words help ease the guilt and Chase vows to spend every day making up for missed time.

“At the same time,” Henrik says, moving away to stare down at Chase. “I could never truly give up hope.” He spends precious slow moments pressing kisses everywhere on Chase’s face except his mouth. Chase bites his lip, trying not to pout or smile as he endures the onslaught. “I will always wish for you,” Henrik promises. “You are all I ever want.”

Chase blushes beneath the intense gaze. He wraps his arms around the teen’s thin waist, leaning up to finally capture his best friend’s mouth into a kiss. Henrik (his love) smiles against his lips.

Chase Brody will _always_ love his birthday. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As proud as I was with the original versions of this little au, I'm much happier with the new touches and additions. Especially Henrik's part; I always feared his was missing something? I think his thoughts come across a little better here now? Anyways, lol, I hope you enjoyed. :) See you in the next story? <3
> 
> Find me lurking on [Tumblr!](http://lace-maze.tumblr.com/)


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